I think it is my lot to be ridiculous at guys who don't even know I exist.  I just caught myself smiling at some pictures put up by a guy I went on a trip with, but didn't chat with much.

Random aside

It occurred to me that this is the era where embarrassing baby photos are posted online (e.g. Facebook) before you get any say about them.

I am the map you use to find her

Recently I moved away from paper maps.  Instead I use the map in my phone.  It's funny how in this age of interconnectedness, it's more natural to see someone with a phone in their hand.  If someone has a phone in their hand, they could be reading facebook, checking messages from their friends, trying to figure out their next appointment.  If you have a map in your hand, you're a tourist.

My friend from the MBA program (SW, if I ever remember what this initial stood for.  He's the Daytona driver who got us safely through the gorge in South France) also introduced me to the wonders of GPS.  Now instead of peering at street signs, I just move the winking blue dot that is me along the black line that is the direction of where I should go.  No need to know what is right and what is left either - you can orientate the map to turn as you turn.

I kind of miss navigating by paper maps though.  There's something physical about reading a road sign and comparing it to your map to see where you are.  There's something about making the wrong turn, realising it fast enough and making a backtrack.

It's like how I get a little upset with my friends who play with their phones while they are on the train.  The landscape rushing around you is gorgeous.  You will never see it again because you are a tourist.  Yet you keep looking at this little device in your hand.

In the same way, I suppose I should take my own advice.  I should stop looking at the computer screen and the phone screen and go out and experience real life.  But the phone is useful for getting a direction to start walking in...

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Some other thoughts that I had was that I should start something like what I had in secondary school.  Like how Literature lessons with its hidden computers were a sign to start typing in this blog, I need a similar trigger for blogging now.  There are so many thoughts that I have in my head, and some of them need to be recorded before they disappear.

Old friends in new places

This was meant to be published one month ago, when my old friends came to England. We had a really nice time when we weren't arguing or losing things.

Now I have another friend coming and even though we're old friends, I feel I don't know her anymore. She just had a whirlwind romance with a guy she just met, and I have a suspicion they are getting married. I know people change, but isn't this a bit too fast?

I don't know anymore.

A beautiful poem - The Old Astronomer to His Pupil

Reach me down my Tycho Brahe, I would know him when we meet,
When I share my later science, sitting humbly at his feet;
He may know the law of all things, yet be ignorant of how
We are working to completion, working on from then to now.

Pray remember that I leave you all my theory complete,
Lacking only certain data for your adding, as is meet,
And remember men will scorn it, 'tis original and true,
And the obloquy of newness may fall bitterly on you.

But, my pupil, as my pupil you have learned the worth of scorn,
You have laughed with me at pity, we have joyed to be forlorn,
What for us are all distractions of men's fellowship and smiles;
What for us the Goddess Pleasure with her meretricious smiles!

You may tell that German College that their honor comes too late,
But they must not waste repentance on the grizzly savant's fate.
Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.

- Sarah Williams

Writing diaries

I visited the Anne Frank museum today and if anything it cemented my resolve to document more of the things I experience. A diary can be a record of who you really are at that point in time. Even Anne Frank's father didn't know the real Anne Frank, although she trusted him enough to let him keep her diary in between moments when she was writing it.

It was also nice to realise she was a scribbler like me, writing short stories about people she knew and herself. I don't know if I want to read her short stories though.

What I do want to do is improve my handwriting, because hers was miles better. People don't handwrite things anymore.

Everything you want

Since my last post I've done a bit of traveling, but I haven't done any writing. In fact, now I'm in a hotel in Amsterdam.

I've struggled long and hard about writing negative things on this blog, mostly because I believe they will pass. What is the point of dwelling on the unhappiness in your life? If it is something you truly regret, you will remember it anyway.

One of my fellow travelers on this trip said something that made a lot of sense though. There are some character defining moments, and these can be good or bad. But it is important to remember them in order to see how you have developed as a person.

It's a pity that she can say something so profound and yet be one of the bugbears of this trip.

I never realised how different my travelling style was from everyone else until this trip. Usually I have no trouble meeting various timings and requirements. I leave as soon as the sun is shining. I believe you should maximise every minute you are overseas.

These girls that I'm travelling with aren't like that. They believe everything and everyone should wait for them, and then complain about the bad experience that they had by the end of it.

Yesterday, they complained about the shuttle bus being inefficient  when the timings were clearly started and easy to meet. In fact, we missed the bus because one girl insisted that she had to make a bank payment that she was already late in making. If you are late in one thing, there is no need to make everyone late for everything else.

Because of that, everyone was cranky when they boarded the public bus, which was crowded as it was time to go home. As a result, they also think the bus is inefficient and would rather drive! They also preferred a 50 euro taxi ride to a 16 euro for 4 taxi ride!

And now I'm starving because they would rather sleep or surf the computer rather than go on time to meet the shuttle that will bring us to the farmers market to eat proper Holland food!

This is a such a sharp contrast to my trip in Manchester, which wasn't the best but I was willing to give up on some things. For one, we were on time for things, and when schedules were shifted they were shifted up. Even though all we ate was Chinese food, it was good and cheap, and we didn't hesitate to walk into good bars with great decor when we had to. We even managed an impromptu trip to Liverpool.

Now the sun is shining and gorgeous and I'm not out in it. There are more things to do here, and yet I'm not enjoying myself as much as Manchester.

My travel buddies this time do have great taste in music though.

Still, it's not what I want to be. I want to make the most of my overseas experiences. I can't live my life the way they do. This is a line I can't cross.