I watched a dark falling leaf
That morphed into a blackbird
A mistake, an illusion
Spiraling round and round
To land

And for a moment
I felt like spiraling
Twirling in consecutive circles
So perfect in ways and yet
Completely out of control

Been feeling like this these few days...I've not been very happy about many things. I didn't get into SRP, this stupid programme...feeling like an all out loser. And my parents take every single oppertunity to remain me of how I scored badly(in their terms) so I probably won't get into anything. It's not that good, but it's not that bad either, I mean, at least I got all As. Better than what I'm getting now.
And it's sort of that everything has just been piling up. I've got fics to finish, books to read, competitions that I really like to enter, my blog, friends that are now scattered all over the place that I have to keep in contact with, new friends in school who worry about me acting weird lately, and people I'm worried about because they've been acting weird lately plus long debates with Aine and I just can't stand it. I don't even have time to check my mail and keep in contact with some really nice people that I've met. I mean, is this really life, just mugging away? I'm not smart, I know that, but that doesn't mean that I have to be stupid and stay at the lower end of things. The most irritating thing, I think, is that I have to study so hard, and other people don't have to bother. Maybe because it's been the other way around all my life and suddenly I find out I have to slog.
Sorry, not in a good mood today.