There is nothing but abject horror when someone who prides herself on writing sits down to write and finds that she can no longer do so with ease anymore.

This is not a new phenomena. I've been having trouble writing for quite a while already, if the long lapses between posts on this blog can be any indication. Initially, it started with fanfiction, with my sense of imagination somehow killed dead by the sheer amount of "real life" that's going on. Never mind, I'll write about my real life, when I have the chance. Who knew it would be so hard to write about real life too?

Part of this, I suspect, comes from my urge to compartmentalise things. I have different boxes for my different likes. This blog is for real life, and always has been. My LJ (yeah, I have one) is for creative writing, any form of writing that doesn't involve my real life. Lately it's expanded to include movie reviews and mindless squee, but it's still predominantly Not!real life.

I guess that is why when I tried to make a real life post on it, I just sat and stared and I couldn't write. I tried to explain this to my friend, but she didn't understand. To her, it was just a matter of sitting down and churning words out. The form and the audience didn't matter.

What makes things worse is that I already had filtered who I wanted to share my real life with on my LJ. I had interacted with my current version of my f-list for quite a bit, and I know which people I can trust and which people I don't really bother about. I had even gone so far as to make a special group for that. But when it came to the final hurdle... I just couldn't.

Unfortunately, I've come to appreciate what privacy can do. There are certain things that can be shared with the world, and other things that need to be kept to a close knit group. What weighs the most heavily on my mind at the moment is something that needs to be kept to a close knit group. This, unfortunately, is not what this blog is for. This blog is for sharing publicly. This blog has no filters. This blog is representative of the things that I feel are useless to hide, because how else would you know me?

When it comes to things involving others, however, I think I need to be a bit more observant of their privacy. And this is why my writings here have decreased, because this is not a time for shouting, or even speaking in a normal tone. This is a time for whispers.

I've had the craving to draw a layout (yeah, I draw =D) to represent this change. Should be able to do so once I get a quiet moment or a good chance to scan things. Plus, for once this blog will be accepting comments, I think. Keep an eye out!