Well, if I can't be honest on my own blog...

Where else can I be?

To round up the sorry saga in the last post, I've gotten back all my money from the Japan trip. The part which is not so happy making is that there are still loose ends from the Sydney post, part of which is the reason that I can't post about it just yet.  It's contributed to a sense of dissatisfaction about my friends and who exactly they are.

Making matters worse is having some of my core assumptions challenged.  Part of it is due to the friends issue, but part of it is also learning that I am very alone in some of my assumptions.  Some of these are core values to me.  For instance: "Would you thank a policeman for keeping the peace?"
My peers: "No! That's his job!"

Me: "So you don't want to be thanked for doing your job? Then why are you asking your bosses to be more appreciative of you?"

What makes it worse is that airing my views would get me booed down before I even got past the "So". And it's making me unhappy.  If they're all about giving the other side a chance, then why can't they give me a chance? What's wrong with a diverse range of views?

At the same time, I don't want to lose their friendship, but I feel increasing that they care little for losing mine, if it's so easily lost just by airing something different. The very thought tires me, but it's true.

In fact, I've been very tired lately.  Emotional bombardment is never fun.

In happier news, I found Star.me! It's a cute website where you can throw stars at your friends. And feel a little better about yourself in the meantime too =)